I Gave Blood

I gave some blood yesterday.


Because I had nothing else to do. That being probably the most honest answer. My mum saw the NHS van outside our local village hall and said “Oh you should go down there” as a joke and after some minor deliberation I’d rounded up my sister for company and  set off on my way down there.

It’s not something I’d normally do, despite being a frequent preacher of all the horrors of humanity, the selfishness of mankind and the iron fist of the machine. So I figured, “why not actually do something that lives up to all that bullshit talk. I’m sat here on my arse looking for jobs online, watering the plants in the garden and waiting for my mum to go out so that I can play Skyrim. What if instead I get up and do something that actually means something? Something Important?”. So I did.

There’s a lot of old crusty blood at these donation set-ups. I’m sure that the majority of people who go down there are between the ages of 45-70. I don’t know a lot about blood but it just to me seems that old blood probably isn’t as good as fresh twenty year old blood. I was the only young person in there. I suppose most of the young people were at work/college/uni whatever but it was kinda sad. But fuck it, I don’t blame em’, most of our generation seems to have an overpowering fear of needles. I swear it, everyone I ever speak to about jabs or drips or like yesterday, the donation, “Oh I couldn’t do it, hate needles.”. OK not everyone, but 4/5? Were you all force-fed heroin as children? WTF.

Anyway, I had to read a little pamphlet about the whole thing before I went through with the donation and one printed fact in the little booklet stood out to me like a neon green gummy bear in the middle of short bread army, ‘Under 5% of the UK population give blood.’. Under 5%…

That’s what like… not very many at all… fack.

Then I was thinking about the amount of times that people actually need blood. The amount of times is a lot. There’s been three pretty nasty car accidents in my village alone over the past week, one smashing up a womans legs or something but weirdly re-aligning a load of steel plates inside her body that had slipped into the wrong positions, so she’s alright but the other two involved children.

A lorry hit a car on the main road out of my village leaving two little girls hospitalised and there was a hit and run on the other side of the village a couple of days ago badly injuring another little girl. A hit and run for fuck’s sake. Some would say that the little girls shouldn’t have been driving at such a young age. Other would say that this is no time for jokes.

But serious. I go sit in the shit village hall for half hour with some self righteous wankers, some old people, some nice people, some doctors and nurses, have to reinstate where I live, my D.O.B and full name five or six times to five or six separate doctors and lie on a bed for five minutes (five minutes, all it took.) and bang. Maybe that five minutes on a bed listening to ‘Nice N Sleazy’ in my headphones by the Stranglers will save a kid who gets caught up in an accident. And that’s a nice thought.

It’s difficult not to come across as preachy or self righteous after doing something like the blood donation and it’s grim to think that that was one of the main factors holding me back from doing it. Seeing the adverts on TV and being like, nah I don’t wanna be ‘one of those guys’, “oh yes I gave blood today, you should really do it, muahahaha I’m such a good human being.” But at the end of the day, it is about doing something good that actually means something and if you can do that without being a dick about it then hey, maybe the human race isn’t so bad after all.


The Stranglers – Nice N Sleazy

Original track is from an album that my dad used to play all the time. Wicked album, No More Heroes. Anyway Nice N Sleazy is a banger and after managing to get a friend all over the track he then went home and found this awesome live clip. I give blood, I think of naked women in 1970’s Battersea dancing on stage to the sounds of a geezer singing about I have no idea what.



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